I am honored Proverbs31woman.org posted my article. I hope you enjoy this post!
“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
After reading many self-help books I finally learned a valuable lesson:
I am my enemy.
I am the one that needs help.
I know, it sounds pretty obvious, that’s why these books are categorized as SELF-help books, but for some reason I thought I was helping myself cope with the pain caused by OTHERS. I’m not referring to the pain people experience that they did not provoke, I am referring to the pain that we need to be accountable for.
When I purchased the self-help books I envisioned the enemy as an outsider; fate – bad things happen to good people or everything happens for a reason, poor decision making – engaging in less than par relationships or friendships, or others – help my attackers have a better understanding of how their actions affected me.
For a long time I chastised those who hurt me while being unjustly lenient with myself. I would be offended if someone dared point out my issues. I was the queen of defense- still am, since this is a work-in progress. Clearly my poor behavior was a REACTION to being attacked, if the offender had not offended me I would have remained calmed and acted as expected.
Ironically, when I was the offender I expected others to keep their cool and react calmly to help me keep my cool. I suggested that they stay calm to help me reason, but as a hypocrite I did not ask of myself the same thing. At the end of the day I was the only innocent party. Perhaps it was too painful to work through my issues, maybe I believed my character shortcomings were insignificant, or worse, at times I was in complete denial about them.
Then the light bulb turned on……