“Woman, make me a sandwich,” Google this phrase and you will find many memes or videos making fun of, or arguing passionately against, the sandwich making a request. Some articles claim women shouldn’t make sandwiches because we barely add meat and condiments. Some women refuse to make sandwiches because men are fully capable of making their own sandwiches and they find this phrase absolutely insulting.
I tried not to write about this, but I kept coming back to the phrase when I read the daily word prompt, so here goes nothing.
Years ago I would’ve laughed at this request and responded, “Make your own darn sandwich, actually, make ME one while you’re at it.” The young woman in me thought I would be stripped of my rights and identity if I cooperated with requests like these. Women have come a long way with their fight for equality and we still have ways to go. Does it mean that we should be an uncooperative gender simply because we can take a stand and prove a point for everything that is requested of us? Does being able to do something mean that we should do it?
Let’s walk through the most commonly described sandwich making scenario. The guy is laying on the couch, remote control in one hand, beer in the other hand, and he’s watching football. The woman is busy cleaning, duster in her hand, child tugging at her dress for attention, and she’s falling apart due to the overwhelming demands of doing the housework on her own. Right when she’s about to finish and enjoy some quiet relaxing time, her husband, who hasn’t lifted a finger all day, yells, “Woman, make me a sandwich!” He didn’t include please, thank you, nor did he consider what she’s been doing all day. He demands the sandwich. End of Story!
She needs to stop, drop, and sandwich ASAP!
In my case, my fiancé is well aware of my capabilities, aside from my sandwich making skills for the family. Does he think that I’m only useful for making sandwiches, absolutely not! Does it mean that I will stop, drop, and sandwich if I need to, you bet! Here’s why. My heart is filled with love and gratitude for the man I am about to marry. I am honored to make him a sandwich should he want it. He and I are a team. We are on the same page. He has my back. He supports me. He believes in me. He goes above and beyond to make me happy. It’s ok for him to put his feet up and enjoy a sandwich made with love because he does the same for me, except I’ll ask for a foot rub, ask him to watch a chick flick he hates, drag him to the mall and walk in each store, ask him to cook my favorite meal after a long day or work, or a million other things. If I said no just to prove a point, am I considering that we are a team? We are partners. I love doing small acts of kindness to make him happy. I love that he’s happy with something as small as making him a sandwich while he enjoys the game. I love that he can have some time to relax since he works hard to provide for the family we are building. I’m comfortable in my identity as a woman, and where we are in our relationship, that I won’t feel making him a sandwich is an agreement to be locked up in the kitchen for all eternity.
We cannot take a phrase like the one above and respond with a one size fits all “no.”
Each relationship dynamic is unique. I’m sure that this subject hits a nerve for the many women out there in relationships where there isn’t a balanced give or take set-up. That’s not the dynamic I’m describing here.
I’m proud I have someone to share my life with. Many people are looking for love, they’re wishing to find someone to make a sandwich for, as corny as that may sound. I don’t want my fiancé to pay the price for the many men out there that caused the bad connotations with the sandwich making the phrase. I’m perfectly ok with being my fiancé’s helper. I love making him happy as much as he loves making me happy. I may not always be graceful about it, but I tend to shake it off and keep myself in check because I never want to become a wife who brags about denying her husband a simple request just because she can.
Via: Daily Prompt-Sandwich